But I Don’t Know How To Help Her.

Do you know a new mother?  Do you want to support her but are at a loss how to do so beyond buying something off the gift registry? (Which is awesome, don’t get me wrong!)

There are a lot of things you can buy to help with a new baby, however there are more meaningful things you can do that can make a huge difference in how that mother adjusts, survives, and enjoys the weeks and months and years after giving birth.

Please read How To Help A New Mom: 20+ Things You Can Do To Help A New Mother and try one thing on the list to support your friends, family, neighbors, anyone you may know who has a new (or not so new) baby. Please. It can mean the world to someone in the thick of this life-changing time.

(Thanks to my Mom for giving me a similar list during my first pregnancy.)

To The New Mother Crying In The Mirror.

Dear New Mamma,

I hear you’re going through a really rough time. I’m so sorry.

I want you to know it is okay not to be able to do everything yourself. It is okay not to know how to do everything. It is okay not to be super-duper cheery. It’s okay to cry. What you’re doing, what you’re feeling, is hard! You still love your child, you still love your partner (even though it may be hard to bring up those emotions sometimes).

The most important thing to help deal with your emotions and hormonal fluctuations right now is to find some way to get at least three to four hours of uninterrupted sleep every day. It may not happen all the time, but try. Getting together a routine–not a strict schedule–but a set way of moving through the day can help. I’m not sure how you feel about this, but counseling can make a huge difference in processing what is going on and give you some relief.

Above all, I absolutely want you to remember these two things:

1) Never, ever compare your insides (your situation) to someone else’s outsides (what they appear able to do, to be).

2)  No matter how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally, no matter what you do, or what limitations you find yourself working with, YOU ARE ALREADY the best, most perfect mother that your child could possibly have. What a blessing it is for your little one to have you.

Much Love From Someone Who’s Been There (and still is),


P.S. And one more thing, it’s okay to be angry. It’s not fair!  Nothing you’re going through is fair and you get to be mad about it.


Back-Channelling With Deafblind.

In the video I shared on Friday, I found it fascinating to see not only the tactile (under hand) signing but also the involvement of the woman on the right using movements on the young man’s back.

A while ago, my husband had some training in Seattle to accompany Deafblind as a Support Service Provider. At that time, the only movement used on the back was an “X” to be drawn in case of emergency.

It turns out that there is a much more developed way of physically communicating with Deafblind sometimes referred to as “back-channelling”. Continue reading